brokeassyouth:

why do you ship the thing?

*pulls out binder full of laminated pages and photos, opens presentation on powerpoint, pulls up podium*

I’m glad you asked

(via you-cant-stop-the-moriparty)

officialunitedstates:

my life plan after graduating is:

  1. get an apartment
  2. find a job
  3. buy a dog
  4. figure out how credit cards work
  5. prepare for the great robot wars
  6. fight in the great robot wars

(via death-by-anal-beads)

- hot sex
- a warm shower
- milkshake
- cozy blankets
- warm, loving cuddles
- kisses 
- nuggets

(via madness-is-my-escape)

o-dawgtheinvincible:

sigmarikz:

certaflyably:

thirstingaintdead:

Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension

  1. "Make me",
  2. "oh really",
  3. "is that so"

"prove it"

"What’s in it for me?"

"The Black Death was one of the most devastating pandemics in human history, resulting in the deaths of an estimated 75 to 200 million people and peaking in Europe in the years 1348–50 CE."

(via madness-is-my-escape)